Gremlin's Quarry

Now Haru has seen a lot of shit happen at his shop over the last few years. One time, there was a miniature gang war right on his porch. It was real hard to hide all the bodies; thankfully, he knew exactly where a Cerberus was hiding. The giant three headed was kinda grumpy at being woken at first, but the fresh supply of dinner he had given it had made it as happy as as a labrador. Which was kind of ironic, since the Cerberus are more mastiff than anything else. There’s been rumours around for a while about a chihuahua one, but he didn’t believe it. The world would never allow something that ridiculous to happen.

Oh, and there was the time a miniature black hole opened inside his shop. He … probably shouldn’t have been prodding the artifact. Or taunting it. And he probably shouldn’t have dared Balthazar to shoot it. That was a problem that took forever to solve. Literally forever, they were caught in a time loop for thousands of years, but only one second passed in this world. It really was the trippiest thing, he racked up some significant therapy hours there. Ah, Angelica. She really was a treasure, she didn’t hear it nearly enough.

The point? Well it seemed as if some kind of imp or goblin was attempting to tear open the chest of some kind of … knight themed superhero. Or, well, he had armor on anyone. Honestly it was quite interesting. He made popcorn, moved to the window to watch better, it was great. The thought had just crossed his mind that he should probably start recording it, y’know sell it on the internet, make some money from it that he heard voices and then, the door behind him open. Crap! Popcorn went flying, window was drawn closed and Balthazar and Amalia were greeted to a Haru looking very very guilty.

”... What’d you do now?”

That was never a good look. Amalia cast her eyes around, half-expecting something to be on fire or being sucked into a dimensional void somewhere. The fact that nothing was even so much as dirty was more suspicious than anything. Her gaze fell back on Haru, more intense than before. Balthazar beside her was giving him a much similar look and quite honestly it was starting to make Haru sweat. He was close to breaking, they could feel it. He did something and the little guilty laugh he gave was more than enough indication of that.

”Listen here, pardner, if you’ve done anythin’ to break somethin’ or take advantage of some poor li’l filly again, I swear by all the powers-”

Haru’s eyes followed the barrel of the gun, head bobbing up and down in an attempt to keep it in sight. Balthazar wasn’t gesturing with it to be that threatening, he just forgot he had it in his hand. Still it did the trick. A pathetic little whimper later and then Haru threw the window open, revealing the very interesting and soon to be deadly fight outside.

”Look I didn’t start this okay I was just like enjoying the view it’s kinda nice to have demons chasing after somebody other than me and where are you going you can’t go out there this isn’t what we do!”

The last syllable petered off in a whine, following the two as they ran outside. They saw what Haru could not; if a hero gets killed right on their front porch, the government is going to be looking just a little too closely at the shop, and that could ruin them. Neither of them felt like fighting off government agents this day (or any other day) so they really had no choice but to try and stop this. Of course Balthazar wanted the guy to survive, he bore him no ill will, but Amalia had no such ideas. Were it anywhere else, she’d join Haru in eating the popcorn.

”Demon creature. Desist thy actions or perish.”

Her armor glistened softly in the sunlight, the reflections of the blade amplified by the shining gold blade in her hand. It bled divine energy, an altogether uncomfortable experience for her. Already she felt it taking its toll on her, this would have to be quick. Her eyes moved, first down the body of the gremlin, sizing it up from it’s nails to it’s head down to it’s tiny little feet. Then to the window, the scratch marks and grooves on the plate glass eliciting a raised eyebrow. This thing was strong. Still. Couldn’t let it kill anything. Eyes flicked back to it, shoulders rolling in preparation, and-

The sound of a gunshot, and a bullet impacted the side of the heroes head. The smoking gun was held by Balthazar (who else) though not for long. Green strings of data ripped itself apart from the gun before it disappeared. Curiously, there was no entry hole on the hero (assuming it hit, of course) though there would be a massive bruise. That’s the result of the “less-lethal” ammunition.

”Now calm down there, li’l fella, ‘for you go an’ get’ yourself hurt. Let’s start with your name.” Another gun had materialized, this one bigger, larger, with the picture of a crackling thunderbolt on the side. ”An’ then you c’n go on an’ tell us why you were attackin’ that pour gentlemen over there.” Amalia rolled her eyes at Balthazar’s act of genteel. The little monster should just be slain. Why risk any diseases? Rabies, salmonella, bubonic plague. This thing looked old and ancient, and she could smell the magic coming off it. She didn’t a sixth sense to know it had some form of magic.

”He’s looking for this.”

Out came Haru and clutched across his slim chest was a sword. Ancient in its design, made with metal unknown to this world, it had certainly been an exciting find. A little digging and testing and it had been confirmed as as Fey Blade, and more importantly, much to Haru’s surprise, the blade of Oberon himself. Needless to say he kept this little beauty tucked away in the back, just in case he needed something to leverage with. Or threaten if he was ever encountered with a pissed off Fey. Which … yeah, good thing he kept it, considering. Would have been really bad if this little guy didn’t get what he wanted.

”Old Fey sword, used to belong to the King of Fairies. Don’t know why this thing is lookin’ for it though.”

He danced across the street, steadily avoiding the unconscious body of the Hero and the pissed-off Gremlin. Amalia, for her part, was ready to fight, sword and shield held ready and glaring down at the thing like she was ready to kick it across the street. The steady hand on her shoulder, painted a multitude of different colors, held her back. A scoff was thrown at him which he ignored, turning his attention to the magical creature demanding it. His hands curled around the hilt of the blade, feeling the weight, the grooves, and then in one smooth motion he unsheathed the blade, letting the metal glisten in the sunlight.

”I have the blade, gremlin. What do you have to trade for it?”